Journey to becoming better human being - 43
Should I feel guilty for having fun?
Yesterday
I attended a party and it was a great fun. Thinking about it as I was
cherishing the memory, a second thought peeped in. I want to do serious things
in life. Was it right for me to have fun? Was it not a waste of time and
deviation? Could I afford such a kind of self-indulgence? As usual, when we
have perplexing question, we proposed that as a topic for our weekly meeting.
“When you pursue pleasure, you enchain yourself to suffering. But as long
as you do not harm your health, enjoy without inhibition when the opportunity
presents itself”
From the
very style of the statement we realized that we were discussing one of the 12 Principles
of Valid Actions. By now we were quite conversant with these Principles as laws
of behavior. We had learnt that violation of these laws will cause suffering
within us and around us.
I
understood that the principle cautions against craving for pleasure and at the
same time clarifies that there is no virtue in depriving ourselves of pleasure.
If we have
craving for the pleasure, we will not be able to concentrate on other things.
We would remain mentally bogged down and that was stated here as enchained to suffering.
I
recollected an incidence few days ago, when I was in my college and was
thinking about the upcoming party that evening. In the process, I couldn’t
concentrate in the class. Some work propped up at my home and my mom wanted me
to be at home. I felt terribly upset for missing the party.
Rajesh’s
favorite movie was released, and he was looking forward to the show. He was on
the way and there was a bad traffic jam. He got wild over one and all as he
would miss the movie. Similarly, Sonal
was to meet her best friend after a long time. She was excited and anxious
since morning. Just few hours before the time of meeting, her friend called up
to say that she couldn’t come. That spoiled Sonal’s mood for the whole evening.
We
realized that anxiety of looking forward to the pleasure resulted in disquiet
and that itself was tying us down. On the top of it, if by any chance we did
not get that pleasure, then it caused great sadness in us. Now we started
discussing the second part of the statement.
“But as long as you do not harm your health …”
I had
started smoking modestly as fun. I was sure that I was not an addict, However,
after some time, I found myself, dependent on it. Smoking did not suit me and
soon I found it harming my health.
Rohit was
having diabetes and it was necessary for him to exercise control in food.
However, he loved sweets. Devouring his favorite sweet dish gave him tremendous
pleasure. After that his sugar level
would go up and affected his health. Vijay loved late night parties with
friends. Initially it did not matter, but when he had many such parties
consecutively, it started affecting his health.
“….. enjoy without inhibition when the opportunity
presents itself”
Now the
third part of the principle was quiet intriguing. It suggested that craving was
detrimental. Harming our health was detrimental, but as long as both were taken
care of then, there was nothing wrong in indulgence and having the pleasure. At
the outset, it appeared conflicting with my notions such as, indulgence in
pleasure is not for good people and that those who want to do serious and
important thing in life should not engage in it. As we reflected more on this
part, we realized that while craving causes suffering, similarly depriving
ourselves of pleasure is also a suffering.
I
recollected that two days ago when I reached home, I found that my old friend
had come to visit us. We chatted for a while, had dinner together, shared
memories of old times. It was a lovely experience and we loved it. George was
invited to a function and the food there was excellent. He tried continental
varieties and loved it. On a holiday, Rohini found that a nice movie was
running in a near by cinema. She decided to go for the movie with the whole
family. They enjoyed the movie and the moments they spent together.
We
realized that in all these examples we had good time. It was a great pleasure.
There was no craving for it. We enjoyed it as it came. And it was in
moderation. There was nothing excessive that would affect our health.
On the
other hand, in all these cases, if we had resisted and denied ourselves then we
would have lost the pleasurable moments as well as would have remained with a
sting in ourselves for having denied them.
A very
important lesson in life. There is nothing wrong in pleasure by itself. What is
harmful is the craving for it and the excessive indulgence that could affect
health. If we took care of the two, then there was no need to deny ourselves of
the pleasure when the opportunity was present.
With this
new learning and removing all sense of guilt for pleasure, I moved ahead in my
journey to becoming better human being.
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