Journey to becoming better human being - 46

Whom and what to thank for?

 

“Say thank you to uncle”, we overheard a mother nudging her child, as we walked towards our meeting place. Sujay, delighted to see how the mother was grooming the child, however expressed his doubt whether saying ‘thank you’ was merely an etiquette or reflected the spirit of gratitude. I guessed it was the later, but we decided to propose that as a topic for our weekly meeting.

 

“To be grateful is an internal experience and it need not be same as saying thank you.”

 

As I reflected, I realised that most of the time I say ‘thank you’ mechanically as a mere formality. Honestly, I am not sure whether I even mean it every time I speak it. Coming to think about it, I just finished typing a complaint letter about misbehaviour of a staff at a bank and at the end of the complaint I stated, ‘thanking you.” What was I thanking for?

 

On the other hand, what is the meaning of gratefulness as an internal experience? When I internally acknowledge that I am what I am thanks to my parents, I get a special feeling. The feeling of humility. The feeling of indebtedness and it is independent of whether I say them ‘thank you’ or not.

 

“We are historical beings.”

 

We are living the life that we live, thanks to the accumulation of learning over generations before us. We did not invent electricity, nor did we invent the fan and then the air-conditioner. Madam Curie, who did pioneer work in radioactivity died in 1934 from exposure to radiation in course of her scientific research. Do we owe her for her contribution? Then what about the persons who invented steam engine and machines? Then going back further what about those who invented fire and the wheel?

 

“We are social beings.”

 

I do not grow the food I eat nor fetch the water I drink. Nor do I make the clothes that I wear or make the house that I stay in. The whole social system is working in tandem where so many people play diverse roles in making my life as I am living. Thus, we are socio-historical beings living the life that we are living thanks to the contribution of whole history of the humanity and the society.

 

“Our grasp is likely to be limited to our time and space.”

 

The role of my parents is closer to me and is visible. Same is about my teacher or a friend who helped me in a difficult situation. I say ‘thank you’ to someone who served food in the restaurant or repaired my car. I am grateful to all of them and that is the way I think it should be. Each of them has done something directly for me. 

 

But slowly this aspect of time and space was sinking within me. What I was learning now was to realise the importance of the role and influence of much larger humanity in my life. I had not thought about this so far. When I closed my eyes and reflected about it, I was overwhelmed. Do I need to say ‘thank you’ to all?

 

“Being grateful is not limited to saying ‘thank you’ nor with paying back.”

 

I recollected the example that I had learnt in my childhood. That was about eating mangoes from the tree that was planted by my grandfather. I was told that it is one thing to be grateful to him for planting the tree and enjoy the mangoes. But is another thing to realise that I too in turn need to plant tree that will give fruits to future generations. I consume as well as contribute.

 

I generally think about doing things that are for my benefits and give immediate results. Being grateful is to acknowledge the contribution and in turn making my contribution beyond self, beyond immediate environment and to think about doing it for the humanity.

 

As usual our discussions were unfolding a deeper perspective. I am what I am because of the contributions of the humanity as it evolved and as it is around me. As I am grateful to the human evolution and the human society, I have a role to contribute to its next level in evolution.

 

“Your parents and the parents of your parents continue in you. You are not a fallen star but a brilliant arrow flying toward the heavens. You are the meaning of the world, and when you clarify your meaning you illuminate the earth.”

 

I experienced a deep sense gratitude for life, realising that the best way to say ‘thank you’ is to realise my role in taking the humanity ahead. To humanise the earth.

 

With deep sense of gratitude, I was advancing in my journey to becoming better human being.